More than ever before, relationships with our family, friends and spouse are being tested. Most of the time, we’re in close proximity without the normal space to miss each other. Some are enjoying the difference in routine while others are struggling. You may find yourself noticing small habits and mannerisms that absolutely work your nerves! Or you simply want time alone. If you’re an introvert, you may be feeling more claustrophobic and on edge because you’re not experiencing the same amount of solitude. On the other hand, if you’re an extrovert, you are likely feeling starved for more engagement and suffering if you’re not receiving that from your spouse.
One key that I’m learning is that it’s important to seek to understand my spouse instead of automatically finding fault. If you are like me, I can go from thinking my husband is the best man in the world to becoming utterly frustrated in a matter of seconds, lol!
But what helps is making myself pause. When I feel myself getting frustrated or upset because, oh let’s say, I’m still standing cleaning the kitchen while my husband sits on the sofa scrolling through Facebook (is this real talk or what?), my gut reaction is to become irritated because why does he get to relax while I’m still working? But, I also know that we are two different people and that this is one way for him to decompress after he’s worked all day. My time to relax is often in the early morning when it’s quiet. I spend time reading, meditating, writing and most days going for a long run.
When I pause and remind myself that this is his break time and that I have mine as well, I’m in a much better position to communicate my own needs and desires and comprehend his. A proper understanding creates a healthier environment for communication and it is key to our growth as couples. So, try it out. Next time you feel irritation and frustration about to overtake you, see if you can pause, breathe and take a moment to try to understand.
